Separation or getting divorced is not for the faint of heart and can wreck havoc on the mental well-being of your family lawyers entire family. However, there are many things that you can do to increase your chances of successfully parenting while divorced or separated.
Review our 4 tips, curated by our experienced family lawyers, for successful parenting after separation for Alberta families.
4 Parenting Tips Following Separation in Alberta
child-centered Parenting
In all instances, focus divorce lawyer solely on what is in the best interests of your children. All your discussions and decisions should be focused on your children’s well-being. Maturity is key in helping you to separate your emotions about your ex and what is in your children’s best interests.Do Not Badmouth the Other Parent
I cannot stress the importance of this point enough. However much you dislike the other parent, never speak badly about them to your children. This toxic behavior does more harm to your children than good. Attempting to divide a child’s love, affection or care for the other parent is simply cruel. It stops your child from building and maintaining an important relationship with their parent, and some research has shown that this reduces a child’s feeling of self-worth as it teaches them to dislike half of who they are. Unless you can do the impossible and physically change your child’s genetic makeup, what is the point of continuing to denigrate the other parent?Separate a ‘Bad Spouse’ from a ‘Bad Parent’
Remember, a bad spouse does not necessarily mean a bad parent. A spouse who may have cheated on you may very well be a loving parent that your children love and adore. Separating these two facets of their personality may be very difficult for you, but part of being child-focused means setting those feelings aside and allowing your child to continue a loving relationship with their other parent.Do not Argue in Front of Your Children
Imagine how arguing in front of your children must make them feel. Your job as a parent is to shield your children from things that hurt them and fighting with the other parent in front of the children hurts them. Would it be so hard to refrain from instigating a fight with the other parent (or choosing not to rise to the other parent’s attempts to instigate a fight) simply for the duration of your pickups and drop-offs? The courts do not view parents who argue in front of their children favourably and you also risk inviting Children’s Welfare Services into an already complicated matter.Parenting After Separation course in Alberta
Parents who separate in Alberta are required to attend the Parenting After Separation (PAS) course. This course is free and is designed to ensure that any negative consequences of the separation for the children’s social, educational, health and emotional needs are mitigated. Parents who attend this course will receive guidance on: The effects of their separation and/or divorce on the children How to communicate with each other for the benefit of the children The legal issues concerning separation and divorce How best to work together to promote a healthy environment for the children Problem-solving and dispute-resolution strategies After completing the course, parents receive a certificate that must be filed with the court (usually through a divorce lawyer). This is generally required before the court will grant a divorce or provide assistance with a custody or support issue.Is the PAS course mandatory in Alberta?
Parents seeking a divorce or assistance from the Alberta courts with child custody, guardianship, parenting or child support must take the PAS course if they have children under the age of 16. Attendance must be within three months of filing a Statement of Claim for divorce or other court application.Is the PAS course available online?
The Parenting After Separation course is available both online and in-person in Alberta. The in-person course lasts for a day (around six hours) while you can complete the online course in around three hours.Parenting After Separation for High-conflict Families course
In the interests of relieving the disruption and stress for children during separations, Alberta also provides free additional assistance for parents in high-conflict families. If the Parenting After Separation course leaves separating parents still struggling to work together for their children, they will need to attend the Parenting After Separation for High Conflict Families (PASHC) course. This course provides guidance for conflicting parents on:- Helping each other to emotionally disengage
- Identifying and renegotiating the boundaries between them
- Developing a parenting plan that will reduce conflict between them
- Helping to minimize the contact between them
- Where the children will live
- Who the children will predominantly spend time with
- Who is responsible for making major decisions about education, religion, medical care, etc.
- Negotiation
- Mediation
- Collaborative law
- Arbitration